


Trapped In Ice and Snow

by kaleidomusings



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Canon-Typical Violence, Jotunn | Frost Giant, Jötunn Loki, M/M, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Sorcerers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-09
Updated: 2015-11-19
Packaged: 2018-03-29 19:18:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3907594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaleidomusings/pseuds/kaleidomusings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Bucky is grievously injured in an attack Steve blames himself for, there's little the healers can do for him. All hope is lost, until Steve hears of a sorcerer living in the mountains -surrounded by freezing winds and fields of ice- who may be able to save Bucky. </p><p>But nothing could have prepared him for what he finds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Bucky's screams will haunt Steve for as long as he lives. 

He can only watch as Bucky thrashes on the bed and jerks out of Rumlow's hold, the bloodied mess that was once his left arm staining the sheets red. Erskine is doing what he can, pressing herbs and a bitter smelling salve to the wound, but Bucky just screams louder. It's a shrill sound, full of so much pain and agony that all the hair at the back of Steve's neck stand on end. 

"Keep him still!" Erskine orders Rumlow, who grits his teeth before pinning Bucky's shoulders to the mattress. 

Steve doesn't even realize he's crying until Natasha puts a careful hand on his shoulder. A sob escapes him and he flees, stumbling out of the little house he shares with Bucky into the cold night air. He covers his face with his hands, but the tears still escape, leaving hot trails running over his fingers. And Steve hates it. He hates being so weak and helpless. He hates that he can do nothing but listen to Bucky's screams. 

"It wasn't your fault, Steve," Natasha says gently at his side. But thankfully she doesn't try to touch him again. 

"It is," Steve chokes out. He drops his hands and fists them at his sides. "I was the one who came up with the plan. I'm the one-…"

"The both of you were willing to face the frost giants to help the people who live here," Natasha interrupts. "That matters."

None of that matters. Not with the sight of Bucky's flesh blackening as soon as the frost giant touched him still so vivid in his mind. Bucky was hurt protecting Steve -just as he's done since they were both small- and he lost his arm because Steve thought they could sneak past an _army_. 

Natasha doesn't say anything else, but she stays with him until Bucky finally quiets and Erskine finally emerges from the house. He frowns at Steve, obviously concerned about his flushed cheeks and the way he trembles with cold, but wisely doesn't mention it. Instead, he says, "He is resting now. All we can do now is hope for the best."

Erskine may be the best healer their small town has to offer, but even he can only do so much against a wound by a frost giant. So Steve doesn't ask about Bucky's arm, no matter how much he wants to, and nods. "Thank you."

After Erskine promises to return in the morning to check on Bucky, he leaves. Steve sits down by Bucky's bedside, placing his hand over his, and ignores Rumlow and Natasha speaking to each other quietly behind him. 

Bucky is a survivor, he tells himself. If there's anyone who can make it through something like this, it'll be him. 

That, for now, is enough for Steve. 

\--

The siege of the frost giants happened completely without warning. They just suddenly appeared on the edge of town, silent and waiting. Fury had made several attempts to negotiate with them, but they have been ignored or refused. But they won't let anyone leave town either and have attacked those who have tried. However, it's supposed to be summer now, and the land is still cold and barren. The people of Triskelion weren't prepared for such a long winter and are suffering for it now. Crops and livestock are dying and many are going hungry. 

As for Steve, he's never sat idly by while innocent people suffered because they couldn't defend themselves. And even though he isn't strong enough to actually fight off the frost giants, he's been shepherding the town's sheep for years. There's no one who knows these woods better than he does. So Steve came up with the plan to sneak to the next town for help and supplies. But Bucky thought it was too dangerous and insisted on going with him. Unfortunately, they hadn't realized the frost giants were smarter, faster, and moved quieter than creatures of that size should be able to. Bucky managed to take down the scout that discovered them, but not unscathed. 

Steve stays by his bedside and tends to him all throughout the night as Bucky sweats and shivers, moaning Steve's name. At some point Rumlow and Natasha must have left, but Steve hardly notices until they return in the morning with Erskine in tow. He unwraps the bandages to inspect the wound, but his expression is grim.

"At this rate, he's not going to last much longer."

The words hit harder than any physical blow and it's only Steve's grip on Bucky's hand that keeps him grounded. "Isn't there anything you can do you?" He's already lost so much. What would be left for him, if Bucky dies?

Before Erskine can respond, Fury and Pierce -the town leader- step into the room. "There's only one thing that can save him," Pierce says. He looks at Steve with kind eyes, filled with wisdom. "The scepter of Loki."

"Loki is a myth," Natasha says. Her expression is unreadable and her voice is flat, but the gaze she levels Pierce with makes Steve think that there's more to all this than the others are telling him. 

"He's just as real as the frost giants," Fury replies. "And his scepter is the only thing powerful enough to destroy them once and for all."

Steve looks down at Bucky, whose pale face frightens him more than he's willing to admit. "Will it be able to heal Bucky too?"

"Steven," Erskine starts, but Pierce interrupts him. 

"We don't know, son," he says honestly. "But we're willing to bet that once the frost giants are taken care of, Barnes and the other folks who were attacked will get better."

As for Steve, he's never been one to back down from anything. Bucky always said that he's just too bullheaded stubborn once he has some idea stuck in his head. "Where do I find him?" he asks.

\--

"Pierce and Fury are hiding something," Natasha says to Steve later, from where she's leaning against the doorway.  

He's trying to buckle the heavy fur cloak Pierce provided him with, but his hands are shaking too much. Natasha watches him struggle for a long moment before stepping close and doing it herself. She's already dressed for the cold, and her gloved fingers brush his neck in a way that makes him shiver. "I know."

"You need to watch out for Rumlow," she warns. "I don't trust him."

Steve refrains from pointing out that Natasha doesn't trust a lot of people. But she's always been a good friend to him and he feels a little safer after she offered to come along. He knows that he can trust her judgment. 

He glances over at Bucky, who makes a rattling sound with every breath he takes. Natasha follows his gaze before giving him a gentle push. "Pack your things," she says. "We need to leave as soon as possible."

Rumlow is waiting outside, smiling unkindly as Steve trails out after Natasha. "I'm almost surprised you're coming along, Rogers. Thought you would want to stay with Barnes."

Steve tries not to think about the glazed, empty look in Bucky's eyes as he said goodbye and has to bite back his smart retort. "Erskine promised to watch over him," he says instead. He turns away and doesn't see the hard glare Natasha aims at Rumlow or his answering smirk.


	2. Chapter 2

The woods are eerily quiet. 

Steve can't help feeling on edge, because with all the snow swirling around them, the frost giants have any number of dark places to hide in. It's one of the reasons why he and Bucky weren't aware of danger until it was too late. The thought makes his eyes suddenly sting in a way that has nothing to do with the icy wind, but more to do with the memory of Bucky's pale face and his ruined arm. Steve has to stop walk walking for a moment to rub his eyes, berating himself for crying again. Tears aren't going to help save Bucky. 

"The snow getting to you, Rogers?"

Steve lifts his head to glare at Rumlow, who holds his hands up mockingly. 

"Hey, I'm just trying to look out for you," he says.

"There's no need," Natasha says from Steve's side. Although they all know she can move so fast that they would struggle to keep up with her, she's kept pace with Steve since they set off to find Loki. She's also been making sure that he's warm, fed, and can keep up with the rest of their group. It's a little embarrassing to have her baby him, but Steve appreciates it all the same. Rumlow and his team have been handpicked by Pierce himself, so they're strong and skilled warriors. Steve almost feels like a joke traveling with them. It just doesn't make sense that Pierce and Fury would let him join the group at all, but he can think about that later. All that matters is doing what he can to help Bucky, and -while he would have liked to stay and tend to him- Erskine is the best at what he does. Steve would have just gotten in the way. 

At least out here, Steve has more of a chance of helping. Sure, he's most likely to die in the process, but if dying will make things easier for Natasha and the others to fulfill the mission, that's much more important than his life. 

"Steve," Natasha says, and the tone of her voice suggests that she's been calling his name for some time now. "We're camping here for the night."

He's sore all over from their constant walking for the last few days and wants to accept the chance to rest gladly, but he doesn't want to admit to it. They haven't even reached the nearby mountains yet, and there's a few more hours until sunset. "We can keep going. I'll manage."

Rollins and the others snicker at him from under their breath, but quickly fall silent and busy themselves with setting up camp when Natasha shoots them a look. Surprisingly enough, it's Rumlow who reaches out and forces Steve to sit on a log close to the campfire. "You look feverish," he says and actually sounds concerned about it. "Just take it easy for now, Rogers."

"But-…" Steve tries to protest, except Rumlow throws a blanket over him and Natasha presses a cup of hot tea in his hands, so he's cut off before he can even start. He frowns at being treated like he's a helpless child, but Natasha raises a brow at him until he takes an exaggerated swallow of his tea.  

It tastes awful and makes him feel drowsy, but Erskine's concoction is the only thing that keeps Steve from going into one of his coughing fits. Not too long ago, Bucky used to make sure he drank it every night, so he wouldn't wake himself up, struggling to breathe. He would also pile every blanket he could find on top of Steve despite his protests and would scold him when he pushed himself too much.

"Promised your ma I'd keep an eye on you and you're not making it easy, Rogers," Bucky would complain as he fed him the watered down gruel he managed to scrape together. 

Steve misses Bucky. The thought hits him, abruptly and painfully. He misses his smile, his laugh, even the wrinkle he gets between his brows when Steve starts coughing and can't stop. He misses him so much. He hates the thought that he might have to live a life without him. 

 _Don't die, Buck_ , Steve thinks as he gazes up at the sky. _I'm going to save you_.

He falls asleep that night, his back pressed up against Natasha's, and dreams of Pierce. 

He and Erskine are arguing, their moving fast and gesturing to Bucky standing off to the side, but Steve can't make out what they're saying. Steve tries to get closer, but it's like to running underwater. Suddenly, Pierce strikes out against Erskine and a strange blue light swallows him up. But it doesn't stop there. The blue light shoots out in all directions, leaving ice in its wake. Steve tries to stop it, but he can't move fast enough, and the ice creeps all over Bucky until he's completely covered in ice. Pierce smiles and pushes Bucky's frozen body over, who shatters into thousands of tiny pieces. 

Steve jerks awake, his heart pounding as he struggles to catch his breath. 

"Steve?" Natasha's soft voice cuts through the panic, the terror, of the dream he had seen. A dream that's already escaping his grasp like the morning mist. 

"I'm fine," he says and almost believes it, even if Natasha doesn't. 

\--

After a meager breakfast of dried meat and mouthfuls of snow, Rumlow explains the path they need to make through the mountains and the rendezvous waiting for them. Natasha actually smiles about it, and it's not the usual quirk of her lips Steve is used to seeing. It's a real one. 

"He's a friend," she says when she notices Steve staring at her. He hasn't seen her smile like that in months, since before the frost giant invasion.

 _He must be some friend_ , Steve thinks, although he's polite enough not to say anything about it. Besides, he's really missed Natasha's smile. 

Fortunately, Steve feels a little less sore than when they first set out on their journey and has needed to take less breaks as they make their way up the mountain. The higher they climb, the more Steve finds himself looking back to try and catch a glimpse of Triskelion through the trees. The town is like a speck in the distance, small and insignificant, but it's the only home he's ever known. He would do anything to save it and the people who live there. Even if that's looking for a sorcerer who might not be real.

As they start to reach the peak of the mountain, Steve notices a bird in the distance. He hasn't seen one in a long time, so he's about to point it out to Natasha until he realizes that the bird is getting bigger the closer it approaches. And that it looks less and less like a bird, but a man with wings. Wings made of leather and some kind of metal. 

"You're late," Natasha says as the man drops down and his wings fold back neatly over his shoulders. He also has a crossbow tied to his back and a small sword hanging at his hip.

He's a very handsome man, with warm eyes and an easy smile. "It's good to see you too, Nat." He turns to Steve and holds his hand out to shake. "You must be Steve. Nat told me about you in her correspondence. The name's Sam Wilson."

"Steve Rogers," Steve says as he takes his hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Any sign of Loki yet?" Rumlow interrupts, looking irritated for some reason. 

Sam frowns at him. "No," he says after a moment. "If he is down in the valley, he might be using magic to cloak his presence."

"The valley?" Steve asks aloud. In the old stories, Loki was said to live on top of the tallest mountain in the far west, near the ocean, a place even the frost giants are too afraid to go to.  

But Rumlow only says, "See for yourself," and gestures to the edge of the cliff they're standing on. 

Steve looks over the edge and sees an expanse of white as far as the eye can see. A sense of hopelessness immediately washes over him. How are they supposed to find Loki in a snowy wasteland? How long will that take? Bucky won't last much longer. 

"Steve…" Natasha starts to say, but doesn't get to finish. The ground beneath them starts to shake as the already cold air turns frigid and a thick fog sweeps in. 

"It's the frost giants!" Rollins shouts. 

Rumlow curses and draws his sword. "How many?" 

"At least fifty."

Natasha's expression is deceptively calm. "Sam."

"Already on it," he says, as he unfolds his wings and leaps off the edge of the cliff. He catches on a strong gust of air and rises high above them.

Natasha turns to Steve. "You need to run. Get as far away from here as you can."

"What?" Steve gapes at her. There's no way he can abandon the group when they need all the help they can get. "No, I won't!"

"I can't fight and protect you at the same time," she says bluntly. Steve winces, because it's true; he would only get in the way. "Run to the valley. We'll catch up to you later." To his surprise, she kisses him on the cheek and presses one of her daggers into his hand. "Stay safe."

"Natasha…" Why does this suddenly feel like goodbye?

"Go, Steve!"

Hating himself for being so useless, Steve takes off down the side of the mountain. A frost giant appears out of nowhere and tries to grab him, but an arrow flies down from the sky and pierces it straight through the neck. 

Steve looks up. "Sam!" 

"Keep going, Steve!" he shouts as he fits another arrow to his bow. 

So Steve runs. The cold air stings his eyes and he can barely see through the fog, but he keeps running and doesn't look back, as much as he wants to. No matter what sounds he hears behind him. He runs and runs until he finally collapses from exhaustion. He struggles to stand, but his body refuses to cooperate. He can't hear the fighting anymore. He wonders if Natasha and the others are safe. Everything hurts and feels so cold. Is he going to die out here like this? Alone, with no signs of life anywhere?

Snow clings to his eyelashes and seeps into his clothes. It makes him shiver. He can't even see the puffs of air his breath should be making anymore. _I'm sorry, Natasha,_ he thinks, _I'm sorry, Sam_. 

"Forgive me, Bucky."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who else is surprised that I finally updated? I certainly am. And I really can't apologize enough for making you all wait so long for this chapter, but I've had quite a bit of inspiration lately. Hopefully it'll keep up, especially since we'll finally be seeing Loki in the next chapter. If you're looking forward to that as much as I am, please leave kudos and comments!


	3. Chapter 3

Dying is strange.

It's dark and quiet. Everything stops hurting, but he loses sense of the world around him. Steve knows it's still snowing, except he can't feel it. He can't feel much of anything; instead he dreams.

He finds himself dreams of his past, when his parents were still alive. Although he doesn't remember his father much, not everything he remembers about him is horrible. Even with the drinking and the yelling, there were times when he was kind. Times he would lift Steve up onto his shoulders or hug him tight while rubbing his rough, stubbly cheek against his. He may not have been much of a father, especially toward the end, but Steve still misses him all the same.

He also dreams of his mother and how she taught him to brave. When his father scared him and the other children tormented him, she made him believe that he could be more than other people tried to make him out to be. Steve just wishes he could have been a better son to her and gave her less reasons to worry. She deserved so much better than life gave her.

Then his dream shifts to Bucky and Steve tries to reach out for him, but the strange blue light swallows him up. It washes over Steve and he's drowning in it, the light shining so brightly it hurts his eyes. And it burns. It seeps inside of him and turns everything into pain. He tries twisting away, but is held down by a strong hand and when he looks up, it's Bucky towering over him. His face is haggard, his eyes are empty, and his torn arm oozes with black blood.

"I trusted you, Steve," Bucky says, in a voice that sends chills down his spine. "How could you let me die?"

\--

Steve wakes up, choking on a scream. He stares up at a ceiling he's never seen before, on a big bed he doesn't recognize. Cool fingers push his sweat soaked hair from his forehead and holds a cup to his mouth. "Drink this. It will help with your fever."

Steve panics. He doesn't want it. Medicine will make him sleep, and he might not be able to wake up if he sees that dream again. "No!"

Shoving the hands away, he throws himself off the other side of the bed and he lands hard enough for it to knock the breath out of him. But he stumbles to his feet and slams against the door, fighting to open it. His hands are shaking too much for him to properly grasp the door handle, and when he hears footsteps approach, he spins back around, pressing his back against the door.

"Don't come any closer!" he shouts, voice cracking.

The owner of the voice, a man, stops in his approach. "You nearly froze to death," the man says. He sounds disapproving, like Steve is at fault for nearly freezing. He's tall, taller than Bucky, with black hair and green eyes. He's dressed in a simple green tunic and black leggings, as well as dark boots, but Steve still senses that there's something dangerous about him. Something he can't trust. "You can barely stand as it is. So unless you want to collapse again, you should lay back down on the bed."

Steve's entire body is trembling with the effort of keeping him upright, but he doesn't want to admit it. "Who are you?"

The man pauses, as if debating whether or not to tell him. "I am called Loki," he says at last.

Steve's knees buckle beneath him, but Loki - _Loki_ \- catches him and keeps him from falling. His fingers grip the front of his tunic as tightly as he can. "Please," he pleads. "Please save Bucky."

Surely the dream is only a dream. Bucky can't die.

Loki searches his eyes, looking for something, but Steve can't tell what it is. "What do you need?"

"Your scepter." Pierce and Fury said they needed it for something, but he can't remember what for. How is going to help Bucky? Did they even explain that to him? No, Steve realizes, they just want to use it against the frost giants. But if the scepter's magic could also heal Bucky-..."The frost giants are holding my town hostage and hurt Bucky. He's dying."

The blank expression on Loki's face is frightening. "What will you give me in return?" he asks after a long moment, just when the silence starts to feel oppressive.

If only Natasha was here. She would know what to do, what to say. Steve has no idea how they planned on repaying Loki for his scepter, what promise he has to make. All he has to offer is himself, and that's not worth much. But for Bucky, Steve would pay any cost.

"Anything," he says, "Everything. Please."

Then he notices that he's wearing a large night shirt that hangs loosely off his frame and his legs are bare. It's cold and he's too tired to protest when Loki leads him back to the bed. Loki holds the cup to his lips again and Steve doesn't want to drink from it, but does. Much to his relief, it's water, not medicine at all. He lays down as Loki tucks the blankets around him.

"Where is your town?" Loki asks.

His eyelids are starting to feel heavy, but Steve tells him.

Loki nods and moves to stand, but Steve catches his hand. He gets a strange look in response and feels suddenly self-conscious under the weight of it.

"My friends," he says. Although maybe friends isn't quite accurate. Not for Rumlow and the others, at least. "The group I was traveling with. We were attacked by frost giants. Do you know if-…"

"I doubt there were survivors," is the brusque response. Steve feels his heart plummet until Loki sighs and leans over Steve, touching his hair gently. "But I will search for any that managed to escape."

"Thank you," Steve says, or thinks he might have said. Suddenly he's more exhausted than ever and can't keep his eyes open anymore.

\--

When Steve wakes again, big red eyes stare back at him. It takes a few moments for his head to clear of sleep and when it does he lays absolutely still. There's an enormous black wolf with its head resting on his chest. The realization makes it harder to breathe, though it's hard to say whether that's due to panic or the weight of the creature's head.

Steve carefully raises his hand and -when it makes no move to attack him- starts to scratch the soft fur behind its ears. The wolf makes a pleased rumbling sound and burrows closer, eyes half closed and tail thumping against the blankets.

"Fenrir." Steve startles and finds Loki standing in the doorway, watching with an impassive look on his face. "Leave."

The wolf -Fenrir- doesn't seem bothered by the curt command. He briefly presses his nose against Steve's fingers before jumping off the bed and trotting out of the room. But Loki doesn't spare the wolf a second glance. His eyes remain fixed on Steve, completely stoic.

It's uncomfortable, to say the least. "Ah, so-…"

"I delivered my scepter to your town leaders," Loki says. His tone is icy. "I expect you to hold up your end of the bargain."

Steve frowns. This man is nothing like the one he woke up to, the one who saved him from a snowy grave and cared for him. This man is a total stranger. "What is it you want then?" he asks.

"Your heart, of course."

His blood runs cold. "What?"

Loki shrugs, as if what he's asked for isn't a big deal. "Hearts are a key component in many spells I use." He smiles, but there’s nothing kind or friendly about it. "You're welcome to decline, of course, but that will nullify our agreement. And your friend -Bucky, was it?- doesn't seem like he will last much longer with his arm bleeding out-..."

"Shut up!"

Loki doesn't look happy being interrupted, but Steve is shaking too hard to care. A part of him wonders when had Loki gone to Triskelion? Has Steve been asleep longer than it feels, or did Loki use magic? He is a sorcerer, so that's highly probable, isn't it? But have the frost giants been destroyed as well? And what of Natasha's group? He wants to ask all that and more, but he can't bear being around Loki any longer.

"I don't care how powerful you are," Steve says, fisting his hands in the blankets. "People's lives are at stake. This isn't some laughing matter. It's not a game!"

Moving too fast for Steve to follow, Loki grips his chin painfully and forces his head up. Cold fingers rest against his throat. An unspoken threat. "But I find it all very amusing," he says in a low voice.

Steve meets his eyes, hoping he looks braver than he feels. "Then you're a bully, and that makes you worse than the frost giants."

Loki pulls away, his face an emotionless mask once more. But, for a fleeting moment, Steve thinks he sees something like pain in his eyes. He considers apologizing, but stubbornly refuses to. He means everything he said. There’s nothing he needs to apologize for.

Loki strides to the door but stops with his hand on the knob. “If it bothers you so much, feel free to leave.” He glances back over his shoulder with that mirthless smile again. “That is, if you wish to watch what is remains of your town crumble to pieces, since I doubt it will last much longer. Even with the Tesseract protecting it.”

Although Steve has no idea what the Tesseract is, the click of the door closing behind him is ominous. As far as warnings go, the meaning is clear. He’s trapped here, until the day Loki stops toying with him and rips his heart from his chest.

Deep down, Steve doesn’t want to die. Selfishly, he wants to at least see Bucky again. But if he could do it all over again, his decision would be the same. He doesn’t regret dying for his best friend.

But if he cries himself to sleep that night, burrowed under the blankets to stifle his sobs, no one has to know about it but him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve goes exploring, Loki finally answers his questions, and -like always- life is unkind to both of them.

Fenrir is waiting in the hall when Steve cautiously ventures out of his room. Although Loki did warn him about running away, he didn't say anything about exploring, so that's what Steve plans to do. 

"Hi," he says to Fenrir softly, who responds by almost knocking him over and trying to lick his face. Steve laughs and buries his face against the scruff of his neck. At least with Fenrir around, being trapped here won't be so bad. 

He briefly wonders if Loki lives alone in this big house, with only Fenrir for company. Steve hasn't seen any servants, but it's hard to imagine Loki preparing the porridge and tea Steve found on his bedside table when he woke up this morning. Or the clothes that were pressed and neatly left out for him to wear. Loki seems too proud to do chores like that himself. And his house -while not quite a mansion- is still large. It seems unlikely for one person to clean it on their own, but then again Loki is a sorcerer. Maybe it's not impossible for him to make it clean with just a wave of his hand. Besides, this house is much better than the dark and dreary castle Steve imagined he would live in. A relatively normal house is a huge relief. 

Loki also left Natasha's dagger out for him. He ties it to his belt, not because he actually thinks it will do anything against Loki, but because having a piece of Natasha with on his person makes him feel safe.

As if offering what comfort he can, Fenrir presses against Steve's hip as he navigates from room to room. Nothing really stands out except for the fancy decor and an amazing library he will definitely come back to, until he opens a door and walks right in the middle of the night sky. All around him are stars stretching to infinity, a sight so beautiful Steve almost forgets how to breathe. He reaches out to touch one and it skitters away, but not before leaving a tingling sensation against his skin. 

"Ah, Steven. Why am I not surprised to find you here?"

Steve slowly turns and Loki is there, leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. He raises a brow at him, but Steve isn't sorry for what he's done, especially since he's not the one who is holding Loki hostage. But his face still burns at being caught and he tries gauging his expression, wondering if Loki is angry with him. Much to his relief, Loki doesn't look upset and instead he raises his hand, causing the stars to spin like they're dancing. 

"So what do you think?" Loki asks. It's a pointed question, almost defensive, so Steve keeps his eyes carefully fixed on the stars. At least they actually make some sort of sense to him, unlike Loki, who is contrary and unpredictable.

"It's beautiful," Steve says and honestly means it. In all the stories he's heard growing up, sorcerers are the villains and magic is seen as something evil. But there's nothing that seems evil about this.

Loki stills, as if surprised by Steve's response. There's a long moment of silence before he finally moves to stand next to him. 

"This is my seeing room," he explains. "Each star is a place from somewhere in the world." Steve stares up at him and he smiles faintly. "Do you wish to see your friend?"

Words suddenly fail him, so Steve nods instead. Loki raises his hand and the stars freeze in place, all except for one. A small droplet of light floats closer until it lands right on the tip of Loki's finger.

"Where's Steve?"

Bucky. It's Bucky's voice. And a moment later, the inky blackness of the sky shows the inside of the little house Steve used to call home. Bucky is sitting up in bed -looking a little pale- but otherwise fine, although his entire left side is tightly bandaged. Erskine must have had to remove what was left of his arm. Tears start to form in his eyes as Bucky glances around the room, studying the faces hovering over his bed. 

"Where's Steve?" he asks again. 

"I'm here, Bucky," Steve says without thinking. 

"He can't hear you," Loki says, "You can see him, but he can't."

Erskine touches Bucky's hand gently. "Perhaps that isn't-…"

"Rogers died," Pierce says. Fury glances at him sharply, but Pierce looks at Bucky with an apologetic look. "He wanted to save you, so he joined a group sent to retrieve the scepter of Loki but he never returned."

"You're lying," Bucky chokes out, his voice hoarse. "Steve is too stubborn to die. He-…"

"He's alive," Natasha interrupts as she pushes her way into the room. Rumlow tries to stop her, but she shoves him aside. Steve exhales sharply, because she looks a little worse for wear, but otherwise unharmed. "Loki is holding him captive. We plan to rescue him."

"Romanova." Fury doesn't seem happy with her, but she ignores him. 

Natasha moves to Bucky's bedside and takes his hand. "I swear to you, we'll bring him back."

Bucky's fingers tighten around hers. "I want to go with you," he says.

She shakes her head. "Steve did everything he could to save you," she says. "Staying here and healing is the best way to repay him for what he did."

Bucky frowns, but reluctantly nods, before everything fades and it's a starry sky once more. 

Steve remains staring at the spot where Bucky's face had been, before asking, "They're not going to find me, are they?"

"No," Loki says. "I have cloaked this place with magic, which keeps it hidden from normal sight." 

Steve nods. But, still, they're going to look for him. They're not abandoning him, even after he ran away from the fight like a coward. Just knowing that means the world to him. 

Loki touches his shoulder gently. "Come. We have much to discuss."

Steve lets him lead them out of the room. Fenrir whines and nuzzles Steve's hand as he passes. He tries to smile, but can't seem to feel it on his face. He barely notices when Loki takes him to the dining room and they eat a simple meal of creamy corn soup, salad, and roasted meat with vegetables. Then Loki leads him to the library and helps him sit on one of the armchairs by the window. The sun has already begun to set and Steve wonders how so much time seems to pass in the seeing room. It felt like he only saw Bucky for a moment. 

"Thank you," Steve says numbly when Loki hands him a cup of tea.

"You must have questions you wish to ask." Loki pour his own cup and sits down, facing Steve. "Ask them."

The thoughts swirl around in his head, but his first question is as unexpected to himself as it is to Loki. "Why do you live alone?"

Loki lowers his cup, his eyes unreadable. "I was banished. From a place called Asgard."

Steve blinks, staring down at his tea. Asgard, in the old myths, is the home of the gods. The realization that Loki is a god is both startling and unexpected. No one ever mentioned that in the stories. "Why?"

A bitter smile crosses Loki's face. "For committing a crime. I discovered a terrible secret and caused a war because of it."

"What secret?" he asks, wondering what it could have possibly been for Loki to start a war.

Loki's face hardens. "I suggest you ask another question."

It's a clear dismissal from the current topic, but Steve can't help asking, "How long have you been banished?"

There's a long pause, and just as he thinks Loki might not answer him, he says softly, "Nearly eight hundred years."

Something like pity bubbles up inside of him. Loki is strange and sometimes cruel, but even the thought of him spending so many years alone is heartbreaking. Suddenly wanting to change the subject, he asks, "When did you find me in the ice?"

"Four days ago."

It's longer than Steve wants to hear, but he supposes it could have been worse. "And the frost giants?"

"I killed them. Then I transported your companions back to your town and turned over my scepter."

He sounds annoyed about it, but Steve smiles. While he doesn't approve of killing indiscriminately, the frost giants had hurt his town and almost killed Bucky. No longer having to worry about them is reassuring. "Thank you," he says, "For saving my friends." 

Loki glances at him. "We made a deal."

Steve nods. "I know. But thank you anyway."

He shifts in his chair, as if uncomfortable with Steve's gratitude. "Do you actually plan to ask anything important?"

"Why do you call me Steven?" Otherwise than Erskine, only his mother called him that on a regular basis. It's strange to hear it so much years later after she's passed on.

Loki, for lack of a better word, _flushes_. "You never introduced yourself properly and that's what your town elders said your name is. That is what you are called, is it not?"

"It is," he says, fighting a smile. "But you can call me Steve. All my friends do."

"I am not your friend."

For some reason, that hurts to hear more than it should. Steve takes a sip of his tea, pretending that it doesn't bother him. "We could be, if you wanted."

Loki stares at him. "Why would I?" 

Steve frowns, but before he can say anything, a stabbing pain in his chest makes him drop his tea cup. The next thrum of pain has him falling out of his chair, but Loki catches him before he hits the ground.

"Steven? Steven!"

He clutches his chest with one hand while the other grips Loki's arm. "My heart. It hurts."

Loki places his own hand against his chest, right next to his, and his head tilts to one side. "Your heart is failing." 

All of his illnesses and stress seem to have finally caught up to him. His health has always been bad, but it must have gotten worse after Bucky was injured. Perhaps this is inevitable, but Steve doesn't want to die like this. Not when he and Loki were finally having a real conversation. "Loki…"

"Be still." He lifts Steve in his arms easily, as if he weighed no more than a child. Doors slam open and shut as he moves through the halls, lights flickering to light the way.

Steve's body feels like he's being stabbed all over and his breath whistles through his teeth as he tries to keep from crying out as another wave of pain washes over him. "I don't think my heart will do much good for your spells," he manages to bite out.

"Don't be foolish," Loki growls. 

He carries Steve to a room with strange objects lining the walls and rows of vials. Loki gently sets him down on a table and chooses a vial that glows an alarming shade of blue. Steve turns his face away. "I don't want to drink that," he manages to gasp out.

Loki uncorks the vial. "If you wish to stay alive, you will." 

The vial is held up to his lips, but Steve keeps his mouth closed.

"Trust me," Loki murmurs, his eyes gleaming strangely in the soft light.

Steve wants to argue that Loki hasn't done much to make him trust him, except that he has. He's kept every promise that he made to Steve. He gave Pierce the scepter, he rescued Natasha and Sam, and he saved Bucky's life when everyone else had lost hope. He even saved Steve from freezing to death, long before they made their deal. For better or for worse, he does trust him.

"All right," Steve whispers.

This time, when Loki holds up the vial, he drinks it. 

Steve imagines this is what it feels like to swallow a star. His insides burn, molten and red hot, and he screams. Loki keeps hold of him even as he struggles and flails, trying to get away from the excruciating pain. Eventually the suffering stops and he lays against the table, panting and shivering. But his heart doesn't feel like it's trying to burst anymore, and breathing seems easier somehow. 

Loki kisses his temple. "You did well. Sleep now, Steve."

So he doesn't fight when the darkness pulls him down and down, before swallowing him up completely.

**Author's Note:**

> My deepest, darkest secret is that I'm fascinated with the kind of relationship Loki and Steve might have. I've also read some really great fic for them, and wanted to try my own hand at it. There's isn't much yet, but thanks for taking the time to read what I have so far. I hope you enjoyed it. Please feel free to leave any feedback. I'd love to hear from all of you!


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